Mind Games

I knew it was too good to be true. Last week I felt invincible, like I could take on the world. This week, willing myself to do the workouts has been tough.  Really tough. I feel like I'm being helped along this week. Little things are reminding me and I'm getting my butt to the gym, but only barely. 

Yesterday, I was seriously considering not going to Zumba. (You see? You see what I mean about that rest day? Gets me every time.) My kids were being total pills, and I was not exactly a shining example of patience either. I happened to call my MIL law about something totally unrelated and she asked me if I was going to Zumba that morning, because she was planning on it. I fudged a bit. Max was still sleeping - even though he had been down almost two hours and I knew I had to get him up anyway - and blah blah blah. This is after I spent about 20 minutes last Friday night sharing with her the wonders of Zumba and telling her exactly when I would be doing it. So, wanting to see if she loved it as much as I did, and knowing I needed to go, we made a mad dash out the door and arrived on time. 

We had a new instructor. Holy hell, she kicked our butts. She was amazing, and I really hope to have her again next week. I felt good, glad that I had come, but still in The Place Of No Willpower. 

Today, again, I thought seriously about skipping my workout. I was late last week because my kiddo got picked up at 6:20, so I figured the same would probably be true today. But by a stroke of good luck, it was 6:00 instead, and I had plenty of time to get there. 

So you see, little reminders. A chance phone call, a kiddo picked up on time...things that went just right so that I didn't fall off this wagon for the bajillionth time. But one of these days I'm going to have to do it myself. I'll have to drag myself out of the darkness of The Place Of No Willpower and win the game all on my own.  

Will it get better? Those of you who have conquered this and reached your goals...do the mind games get easier? Or do I just need to get used to it? Find a way to ignore it? Tomorrow, I'm at it again.