"Me Time": Then and Now

Not that long ago, the time I had to myself looked very different. If I could manage it, I would take an hour or two and head to Applebee's. I would order the spicy queso and a mudslide...and finish them both.


Let's let that sink in for a moment... 


I'd eat an appetizer made for two or more people by myself and wash it down with a drink made from ice cream and alcohol. UGH. 


The sad thing is, it still sounds good. I still have to remind myself that my "me time" doesn't look like that anymore; that it can't look like that anymore. I still have to remind myself that even though I really don't "deny" myself anything, that's a place I can't go. It's still too slippery a slope. 


Now, "me time" is when I rush out the door to the gym after dinner, or drop my loves in the gym's daycare one or two mornings a week so I can work out. Part of me resents that; I would rather be doing a thousand other things than using my sparse alone time to sweat it out in the aerobics room. But part of me also knows that if I don't change this, I may not even be around to have it. Hmm. Suddenly that queso and mudslide don't sound so good anymore. 


At the end of Zumba tonight, our instructor played Kelly Clarkson's Stronger. It actually brought tears to my eyes. I really realized that I wasn't just doing this for me. I was doing it for my kids, and for my husband, because they deserve to have a healthy mom, a healthy wife. I'm getting stronger with every workout. I'm changing my future every time I don't drive over to that restaurant. Every step I take to better my health is an investment in my future, and in theirs. 


And it's funny how, just like that, it felt like time well spent.