this is the point in any new endeavor when i cop out. i get to one small goal, take one small step...and call it good. and i've been okay with that pattern for the better part of 10 years. "really, it's fine. i dont need to go any farther...i went this little bit and that means i can do it, so i can do it anytime i want so...i'll do it later". it's like that oh-so-cliche phrase: "i can quit any time i want", except...reversed. so it's kind of the same. i guess.
what!? i mean seriously...what?! i wish i were kidding, but that's my way. it's like my trademark. heh heh.
but that has to change. has to. no if's, and's or but's...as my dear dad would say.
and i find myself here once again. my eating habits? great! finished week 1 of C-2-5K? check! and now i'm in that place...ohhhh, yes indeed.
week 2? there's a week 2, you say? with...more running? eat well for another week? whatever for?
yes, these are the battles raging in my brain at this very moment.
today i ate two packages of little debbie swiss rolls. probably not the worst slip up ever, but i forgave myself. didn't even think much of it really. and that folks, is how you spend 10 years being complacent.
no. more. NO. MORE.
i will get this jiggly arse out of bed in the morning. i will put on my running shoes and i will go. out the door, into the blessedly cool morning air (yay, autumn!) where i will push past this point, past the point of complacency, past the edge of my comfort zone.
"You may have a fresh start at any moment you choose, for this thing that we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down." ~ Mary Pickford
here's to getting up!
Kudos for you for keeping at it. Eventually, taking care of yourself via healthy eating and exercising will begin to feel natural.
ReplyDeleteI thought I'd throw out a couple of suggestions for you, having been down this road myself. (For what it's worth, my highest weight was 257; I weighed in yesterday at 153.2. So you CAN do this.)
Change up your workouts. You said you wanted to try P90X, which is a fantastic program. I definitely recommend starting with something a little less intense, like Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred DVD. That's a good one to mix in with your C25K training, too, because it gives you cardio AND strength training on your non-running days.
As for diet, I can't recommend Jillian's book, "Master Your Metabolism," highly enough. Really changed the way I thought about how my diet and other actions affect my body.
For staying motivated, www.sparkpeople.com is another great resource. Diet & exercise trackers plus a community of folks dedicated to the same ideals you are. Can be very helpful in those harder moments.
Good luck, and if there's ever anything I can do to help, let me know!