reconditioning

I was watching a story on extreme eating on the Today show early this morning, and there was a woman who had the lap-band procedure done. But she was talking about how even though she had this thing done, it didn't change anything about the way she thought about food, or the need to continue the emotional eating. And so she was eating "slider foods" (in other words, foods that would "slide" past the lap band). She lost 150 lbs and then gained it back plus some.



It struck me kind of hard, because I struggle with those emotional issues with food, and she's right, no quick fix - or even a good diet plan - teaches you how to disconnect the food from the emotions.

I realize I have to rethink my process. Because if the last week has shown me anything, it's that eating less is not the only remedy I need. I need to recondition my brain to think of food as nourishment and fuel, instead of as consolation, comfort, a means of celebration, or even as a "friend" when I'm all by myself. This has been going on for such a long time that it's not truly something that even makes it to the forefront of my brain when I eat.

That's the thing about habits...after a while you stop noticing that you're even doing it. I think the same applies to the many, many, many times I've quit my weight-loss efforts. My brain is so conditioned into the "Try ---> Small Success ---> Obstacle ---> Quit" cycle that I don't even make a conscious decision to quit. It just kind of happens.

And it's particularly hard to be in a battle of wits with your very own brain. It's like playing chess with a computer. You might win 1 time out of 1,000, and usually by accident.

I don't know why I can see other people's successes and still not see this endeavor as possible for me. And that might be my biggest stumbling block.

So let's start small.

#1: I believe I can lose weight. I have proof of this possibility...I lost 25 pounds my junior year of college through hard work and watching what I ate. And I worked my tail off. It doesn't matter where that determination went or why I don't have it in this moment. I know I am capable of it. I will stop pitying myself, because I am just as capable and just as worthy of success as anyone else who has made this same journey.

#2: Pay attention to what I'm eating. Put a note on the pantry door and refrigerator that says: "What are you consuming? What's in it and how will it benefit you?"

This is what I'll do this week. Baby steps, stop thinking so big that I get overwhelmed, and battle my own brain. It doesn't seem like much, but have you ever played chess against the computer? It's hard, ya'll.